A letter to myself one year ago

Tonight I gave my lively 3-month-old a bath, read him a book and rocked him to sleep {then rescued his paci like 45 times but that's besides the point}. Last Thanksgiving Eve looked very different from tonight. Last Thanksgiving Eve I found out I was not pregnant for the last time. I felt devastated, frustrated, alone {Dan was working} and needless to say, not very thankful. If I could send my past self a letter this is what I'd say:

I know you are hurting right now. I know it's hard to see past this moment where the pain is so deep it feels like your heart is literally breaking. What you can't see is that a year from now you will be so deeply in love with a precious baby boy with blue eyes, fuzzy hair, a dimple on his left cheek and a gummy smile that will melt your heart. I know right now it is hard to be thankful but what you don't know is that a year from now you will be more thankful than you would have been had things worked out the way you planned instead of God. You will see God's faithfulness and promises unfold in ways you couldn't have imagined. 

So, since I can't send a letter to my past self, I'll write a letter to you. 

To you who are facing trials that seem hopeless: God says, "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." {James 1:2-4}

When it seems like you don't have much to be thankful for: God says, "Give thanks in ALL circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." {1 Thes 5:18}

And when things don't go according to your plan or in your timing: God says, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts,   neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." {Isaiah 55:8-9}

Happy Thanksgiving
-B-